The forlorn cries of peacocks strutting the gardens of this wonderful hotel are the first hint of the offbeat luxury within. Making unabashed use of a Victorian 'castle' constructed amid the ruins of the real thing (built in the 13th century by an ally of Edward I), its over-the-top grandeur includes a spa, a wood-panelled library/bar, and even a medieval banqueting hall.
There's also a gym and spa (packages start at £69).